Catch me Live! ACHTUNG BABY events

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In January, I will be appearing at several events to talk about ACHTUNG BABY. If you live nearby, please come out and support these fantastic venues. I will talk about how Germans raise self-reliant kids, and we can discuss how we can do it right here in the good ol’ US of A.  

WASHINGTON D.C.:

PoliticsProse

January 4, 7:00 p.m.       
Politics & Prose 70 District Square SW

MOSCOW, IDAHO:

MoscowBookPeople

January 17, 7:00 p.m.
Bookpeople of Moscow,  521 S. Main

 

NORTHERN CALIFORNIA: 

BookPassage

January 19, 6:00 p.m., Book Passage-by-the-Bay
51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte MaderaCA 

Napa_Bookmine

January 20, 2 p.m. Napa Bookmine / Napa County Library 
580 Coombs St.,  Napa, CA

SEATTLE:

THS-logo-color-black-box

January 22, 7:30 p.m. Town Hall Seattle / Westside School
10404 34th Ave SW, Seattle, WA 98106

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ACHTUNG BABYs are Coming Soon!

 

Achtung_hardbacks

I am thrilled to receive my copies of the Achtung Baby hardcover! These babies can stand all on their own.

They will be released to the wider world on January 2, but you can pre-order. For more info and ordering links, click on my Achtung Baby web page or visit MacMillan.com.

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A cover for ACHTUNG BABY

My book about German parenting is coming out in January 2, 2018, but this baby already has an awesome cover. It’s big, it’s bright, it’s yellow! And watch out for those kids!Achtung Baby_cover2

Read more about ACHTUNG BABY on this site,  and see the review in Publisher’s Weekly and on Kirkus Reviews.

To pre-order, visit one of these great booksellers:

Amazon.com

Apple / Itunes 

Barnes and Noble

Books a Million

Indie Bound (community of independent local bookstores)

Powell’s Books

In Canada:

Indigo

Kobo

 

 

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Toy-Free Kindergarten project

At some German kindergartens, the teachers take away all the kids’ toys for as long as three months–not to be cruel, but to help the children build resilience against future addiction, all without mentioning drugs at all. Read more about how it works on The Atlantic.com

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The Toy-Free Kindergarten

The program is based on the idea that habit-forming behaviors start in childhood.

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Teaching Children to Play with Fire

On a recent article in the New York Times , I highlighted a German fire safety training program that aims to keep kids safe by teaching them how to make fire–not to stay away from it. Check it out here

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Kain Karawahn

 

 

Here’s a bit of Kain Karawahn’s fire training for kindergartners in action: (in German) The fire lesson really gets going about 1:35 in…

 

See more video at Karawahn’s youtube channel. And more images at the website  Mitfeuerspielen (that’s ‘playing with fire’ in German)

For more on the long human history with fire, read Professor Daniel Fessler’s paper: Burning Desire: Steps toward an Evolutionary Psychology of Fire Learning (PDF)

What do you think?

Does the American fire-prohibition approach of “learn not to burn” work to keep kids safe? Or should we try the German fire training method and teach kids how to make fire safely? 

 

 

 

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Simple ways to give kids more free play

children_playingAt this point, every parent in America has probably heard how important free play is for their kids. If you haven’t, there’s this article and this article and this article  just to name a few. We know that children need to explore, run, climb, build, make up games, take risks, and generally interact with other children so they can develop normally and avoid becoming 30-year-old unemployed basement dwellers.

We got it! Free play is critical. But the question is how do we give it to them? Especially when our parenting culture and our schools put up huge barriers to play–from longer school days and piles of homework to over-scheduled friends and playgrounds so safe they’re boring.

I’ve been grappling with this problem ever since moving back to the US from Germany, a country that highly values children’s free play, and I have several simple strategies that might help other American parents:

Turn your backyard into a junkyard. If there are no great playgrounds or wild spaces in
your neighborhood, you can make one of your very own, on the cheap–as long as you can tolerate some mess. You may have read how a Silicon Valley father turned his yard into a junkyardplayground. It’s quite amazing—and must have cost a bundle. This is the low-rent
version. The fanciest things we have are a tire-swing and a make-shift zipline made of sailboat halyard and a pulley. Everything else is junk: boxes and boards to build forts, old plastic bottles to make “potions” in,  sticks to make swords and bows, old buckets and rocks to “bowl” with. A neighbor kid visiting our house once declared “Everything in your backyard is broken!” It was a fair assessment, but I also couldn’t help but notice how much he enjoyed playing there.

Embrace big institutional “after-school care.” It’s where all the playing is happening these days. Most schools have killed recess, and I’ve yet to find a neighborhood that still has big groups of kids playing outside. After-school care, especially if it has a lot of kids enrolled and a big play area, is about the best chance kids have to play with other kids today. If you’re a family with two-full-time working parents and have to do this, lose the guilt—you’re doing your child some good by enrolling them in aftercare. If you don’t need after-school care, consider doing it anyway, not for your sake but for theirs.

Start an “unscheduled day” at your school or neighborhood park. I’m stealing this one from free-range kid founder Lenore Skenazy, but it’s a brilliant idea. Declare that your kids will be at the park for a few hours on the same day, every week. Get a few other families to commit and spread the word. Bring some sport things, fort-building materials, or just let the kids figure out what to do together. They’re actually quite good at it.

Remove distractions to play: Don’t over-schedule children with organized sports, oboe lessons, and Mandarin classes. These things are great in moderation, but not when they consume all their extra hours. Speaking of, rebel against homework—especially in the lower grades. No one has proven that homework in first and second grade helps anyone. As a parent you can just say ‘no.’ You have that power. Limit screen time—tablets, video games, and TV are addictive for children (and adults too)—I’m not a fan of an outright ban, but screens are like entertainment-candy, great treats for special times, but not good for constant, regular consumption.

kids_making_snowmanDon’t let the weather stop you: Wet muddy yards can be fun, and snow has got to be one of the best toys nature ever made. I realize right now I’m blogging in February from the comfort of California, but I grew up in Buffalo, New York so I know what I’m talking about. My mother often turned off the TV pointed at the snowsuits and told me to get outside. So invest in some winter wear and in a good pair of rain-pants and boots– as the Germans say “There is no such thing as bad weather only unsuitable clothing.”

You can read more about what I learned from German parents in this article (PDF) from The Times and this article from Time.com. Stay tuned as well for my book, Achtung Baby! to be released in early 2018.

Photo credits:
Top: Children playing by David Robert Bliwas
Bottom right: Kids making snowman by Homayon Zeary

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Dear America, Please Don’t Kill Halloween

group_kids

Halloween is about the best thing about American childhood that our helicopter culture has been unable to ruin–yet. Despite our constant control of our children, on Halloween they can run around freely, sometimes even without their parents, and ask strangers for candy!

It’s a holiday all about facing fear: fear of the dark, fear of having to knock on someone’s door, the irrational fear of witches, ghosts, and demons running through the night… If you take the metaphor far enough, Halloween is about facing our fear of death–and all the gruesomeness attended with it.

Halloween laughs at fear, at death itself. We come out of the other side of the Haunted House exhilarated and alive. Children come home from a night of battling terror with a big old bag of candy as a reward.

Halloween is an emotional learning experience wrapped in chocolate joy. It should be defended and preserved not killed off by a bunch of ninnies worried about creepy clowns.

So let’s talk about the clowns. My daughter came home the other day and said kids told her clowns are luring children into the woods and killing them. This is not patently not true—but too many adults have bought into this urban legend/internet hoax and given it even more power. I recently got a message blast from the school district superintendent herself telling parents to watch out for clowns! (none have een been spotted in our area.)

Now, our elementary school says the kids cannot wear clown costumes—even though it’s Halloween and the children are in elementary school. Clowns are funny and scary. They are perfect Halloween costumes for the under 12 crowd. Even better that there are these rumors running around, let the children face that fear–and laugh at it.

As reasonable adults, we should know better than to give credence to fears that have no basis in reality.

When I was a kid, the threat to Halloween was razor blades and poison in candy. These threats turned out to have little actual truth to them, but ever since then no one can give out any homemade goodies. That changed the neighborhood feel of Halloween forever. Suddenly all our neighbors were suspect: they could all be out to maim children! To this day, people still don’t hand out anything but pre-packaged candy, and some hospitals even offer free x-rays of that.

If the clown scare follows the same illogical pattern, the fear-control-freaks will start limiting what kids can wear for Halloween. (I mean forget clowns! Have you noticed that many kids dress like murderers from the movies? Complete with fake chainsaws and bloody knives!) Let’s not turn all costume wearers into would-be child-murderers.

Some time ago, a couple I knew who were new parents wore beanies on their head and carried around their baby at a Halloween parents—they were dressed as helicopter parents. At the time, I thought it was a brilliant costume. But I should have been afraid. After all, they were dressed as the biggest threat to Halloween.

Frown Clown

 Photos creative commons license; top: anjanettew. Bottom: Shawn Campbell
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